Into the Wilderness
From the opening line of Mt. 4:1, today’s Gospel passage, “Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness…” Is the wilderness a scary place? It could be. For sure it’s not a fun place like the beach is on spring break. In high school I always wanting to go to Fort Lauderdale for spring break. But unchaperoned? My parents put the kabash on that one. Smart move.
Did Jesus want to go the wilderness? Maybe not. But he went there anyway. He knew he had to go. Have you ever had something that your resisted but you knew you had to do so you jumped in and did it? If the wilderness is that place that we resist going to what might be the wilderness that God is calling you to?
Back in 1985 I was on seminary formation team at St. John Vianney Siminary on the St. Thomas campus. During the Jay Term that January I accompanied a group of seminarians to visit our diocesan mission in Venezuela.
It was a whole new world for me. The language was different. The people were different. The culture was different. I remember thinking, “This place is interesting, but I don’t think I’d want to serve down here!”
Soon after this voice inside me kept saying, “You should think about serving down there.” You see one of the priests serving in Venezuela was rotating home and another priest was needed to fill the vacated position. But things were just fine with me back home. So, I had no interest in serving in Venezuela.
After all, I had been on or near the St. Thomas campus for years, four years of high school, college, and then seminary, then five years at St. Marks Parish two blocks away and now back to St. Thoams for another five years serving in the seminary program. This was the world I knew. This was my hood. So, why leave?
But it bothered me that I was resisting the call. What was I afraid of -being pulled out of my comfort zone? Absolutely I was afraid! So, I surprised myself when later that fall I signed up for a five-year mission assignment in the mission. (I think the Spirit really over time on me) If Jesus was led by the Spirit to the wilderness so I was led by the Spirit to aa wilderness of my own, Venezuela.
So, the question. If the wilderness was the place where Jesus faced his demons, is it not the place where we face ours? As I found out the spiritual wilderness of my new adventure in Venezuela was the place of testing where I would wrestle with not only my demons, but with God.
And what is the wrestling that we might face in our spiritual wilderness? It could be anything, -a resentment we can’t let go, an addiction that has taken control of our lives, a negative attitude that is making us and everyone around us miserable.
With this kind of soul-work comes the hard questions. Where is my life going? Am I really letting God take the lead in my life? What is it about myself that I don’t like to admit?
These are not easy questions. But when we have the courage to wrestle with them our heart expands. Then like Jesus we come out of the wilderness ready to do the work God has in mind for us to do. Looking back I can now see how I did not come to St. Victoria until I was ready to do the work God wanted me to do here.
May this Lent be a time when led by the Spirt we dare to venture into the wilderness. May this spiritual wilderness that we once resisted be a place we no longer fear because led by the Spirit we know we don’t go there alone.